What Travel Taught Us — Usually the Hard Way

From a London trip I was relieved to miss to an exhausting day in Rome and a Venice dinner we’d rather forget, some of our most useful travel lessons came from the moments that didn’t go according to plan.

Some travel lessons come from guidebooks.

Ours seem to come from cancelled trips, plans that were too ambitious, things going wrong — and occasionally from watching strangers argue over photographs. 😄

Over the years, travelling has taught us quite a lot about what works for us, what doesn’t and what we would do differently today.

Here are five lessons we actually use when we travel now.

1. The London Trip I Was Relieved to Miss

What we learned: Respect someone else’s budget and travel preferences, but don’t feel guilty about your own. And sometimes doing something separately is a much better compromise than one person giving up what matters to them.

I learned this from a trip I never actually took.

Years ago, when I was in my mid-twenties, a childhood friend who lived in Bucharest and I decided to go to London.

We chose the dates and bought our flights.

And only afterwards did we properly discuss what kind of trip we wanted.

I had already been living in Germany for a while and had a well-paid corporate job. For the first time, I could afford to travel with my own money without help from my parents.

I wanted a comfortable hotel with breakfast in a good location. Nothing extravagant, just somewhere nice. She preferred a cheaper Airbnb farther from the city centre because her budget was lower.

That wasn’t the problem. We simply had different budgets.

But then we talked about what we wanted to do.

I wanted museums, the Harry Potter Studios and afternoon tea at one of London’s beautiful hotels. Those things weren’t particularly interesting to her and didn’t fit her budget.

Again, completely understandable.

What I would change today is my own reaction.

I said what I wanted once, felt uncomfortable about it and was then willing to let it go.

I even suggested spending one day separately so we could each do exactly what we wanted, but that didn’t work out either.

Then I was unexpectedly offered a new position and had to cancel the trip.

I lost the money for my flight and felt incredibly guilty about disappointing her.

But underneath that guilt?

I was relieved.

Deep down, I knew I wouldn’t have felt comfortable on that trip. I would probably have been frustrated because there were things I genuinely wanted to experience but felt I shouldn’t ask for.

Maybe she would have enjoyed the trip. Maybe not. I can’t speak for her.

I only know that it wouldn’t have been the right trip for me.

Interestingly, Bernhard handled a similar situation very differently on a London trip with his brother.

He really wanted to visit Elstree Studios. His brother wasn’t in the mood to go.

Bernhard thought it was a shame because he believed his brother would have enjoyed it too — but he didn’t insist.

His brother stayed at the hotel. Bernhard went alone and had a great day.

No argument. No dragging somebody somewhere they didn’t want to go.

Sometimes the best compromise is simply not forcing the compromise.

2. When Rome Became Too Much

What we learned: Planning is useful, but an itinerary needs room to breathe. Trying to fit too much into one day can turn something you’re excited about into something you simply want to get through.

Rome taught us this the hard way.

In June 2022, we travelled there with my parents. I was extremely stressed at the time and wasn’t in a good place emotionally, so Bernhard planned practically the entire trip himself.

He actually did a wonderful job.

There was just too much of it.

One day, we were around the Bocca della Verità and wanted to continue to the Colosseum, where we had timed tickets.

A Vasco Rossi concert was taking place nearby at Circo Massimo. Streets were blocked, public transport around the area was disrupted, and the shortcut we’d expected to take wasn’t possible.

And it was incredibly hot.

But those Colosseum tickets weren’t going to wait for us.

So the four of us took the long way around in the sun.

By the time we finally reached the Colosseum, we were sweaty, exhausted and frustrated. My parents were tired. Bernhard was tired.

And I felt awful.

I don’t remember announcing that we’d planned too much.

I remember thinking:

I want to give up. This is too much.

Later, back in our room, Bernhard and I talked about it.

Next time, we’d plan together.

And we’d leave some room to breathe.

We still plan carefully today. We book attractions with fixed time slots and make restaurant reservations.

But everything in between doesn’t need its own time slot.

We are on holiday, after all. We are not robots.

3. “That’s Us!” — The Couple We Couldn’t Stop Watching

What we learned: Travelling teaches you a lot simply by watching people. Sometimes you notice how different we are. Other times, complete strangers remind you how surprisingly similar we can be.

One of my favourite things about travelling is simply observing.

What do people order? How do they dress? How does a city behave? What seems completely normal there but unusual to us?

And sometimes you don’t discover a cultural difference at all.

You discover yourself. 😄

One evening in Sirmione at Lake Garda, Bernhard and I were walking near the marina when we noticed a couple.

She was dressed all in white and wanted her partner to photograph her with the yachts behind her.

There was one problem.

It was already quite dark.

He kept trying. She kept looking at the photographs.

She clearly wasn’t happy.

I looked at Bernhard and laughed.

“That’s us!”

“Exactly,” he said, laughing.

Then he immediately started feeling sorry for the man.

It was dark. The light behind the yachts wasn’t good. According to Bernhard, there was simply no way the poor guy was going to get the photographs she wanted. 😄

Bernhard knows the situation rather well.

He’s spent plenty of time patiently photographing me while I inspect the result and say:

“No. Not that one.”

Sometimes travelling opens your eyes to completely different ways of living.

And sometimes you stand beside a marina in Italy, watch two strangers and realise:

Apparently we’re all the same.

4. The Venice Dinner We’d Rather Forget

What we learned: You can research, plan and make sensible choices — and things can still go wrong. Not every bad travel experience could have been prevented by planning better.

Unfortunately, Venice gave us a very good example.

We had researched a restaurant before going. It was busy, well frequented and seemed perfectly fine.

We both ordered fish with a very strong garlic sauce.

And if I’m honest, the fish itself didn’t taste particularly fresh to me.

Later, we both became very ill.

Was it the fish?

We don’t know.

Maybe we ordered the wrong thing. Maybe we were simply unlucky.

I will spare you the details.

Use your imagination. 😄

The following morning, Bernhard was supposed to drive us home.

That was absolutely not happening.

Thankfully, we were travelling with my parents, so my father took over the driving.

I was doing somewhat better, although still a little carsick and very stressed.

Bernhard was feeling considerably worse.

Not exactly the Venice ending you normally see on social media.

And that’s perhaps what the experience reinforced for us.

We had researched. We had planned. The restaurant appeared fine.

Sometimes things simply go wrong anyway.

For two people who like planning as much as we do, that’s quite an important lesson.

5. Who Decides What’s “Worth the Money”?

What we learned: What one person considers a waste of money might be exactly what makes another person’s holiday enjoyable. We’ve learned to spend our travel budget on what actually matters to us.

I’ve heard comments in real life about spending more on a nicer hotel being a “waste of money.”

I’ve seen similar opinions online.

But what exactly counts as a waste?

A comfortable hotel matters to us. After spending the day walking around a city, we genuinely enjoy returning somewhere comfortable.

Someone else might happily choose the cheapest room available because they’ll barely be there.

That’s fine too.

We are not campers. We aren’t backpackers. We’re not luxury travellers either.

We love museums, cafés and restaurants, parks and gardens, photography, panoramic views and rooftop bars. We’ll happily go to a rock concert one evening and a classical concert another.

And yes, we like a comfortable hotel at the end of it.

That’s our way of travelling.

Over time, we’ve become much less interested in whether somebody else thinks that’s where our money should go.

Because “worth it” is personal.

The Lesson I’m Still Working On

There is one thing travelling keeps trying to teach me — and I’m definitely still learning it.

I need to live more in the moment and stop worrying so much about what might go wrong.

Bernhard approaches this differently.

For him, something unexpected can happen on every trip — and sometimes that’s exactly what makes travelling interesting.

Maybe you arrive somewhere late and the place you wanted to see has already closed.

Of course you’re disappointed.

But as Bernhard says, that’s life.

There is usually something else you can do. And if you really wanted to see it?

There is always a next time.

He also tries to calm me when I start stressing and helps me see some of the fun in the unexpected.

I’m still learning to do that.

Bernhard is usually beside me convinced we’ll find something else to do.

And, annoyingly, he’s very often right. 😄

Maybe that’s one of the reasons we travel so well together.

We don’t just come home with photographs, tickets and stories.

Sometimes we come home understanding ourselves — and each other — a little better.

What has travelling taught you?

Maybe it was something wonderful. Maybe it was a cancelled plan, a missed attraction, a terrible dinner or a trip that simply didn’t go the way you expected.

Tell us in the comments: what happened, and did it change the way you travel today?

We’d genuinely love to hear your story.

Until next time,

Irina & Bernhard
Simply Great Escapes